The Introvert’s Guide to Energy Management
Despite Planet Extrovert pressures, learn how to keep your mood, stamina and motivation stable.
Whether it’s putting up with stressful circumstances, getting started on yet another demanding challenge, or answering a barrage of unexpected questions, you’ve undoubtedly at one time or another reached a point at which you feel “I just can’t!” Physically you’re OK, but mentally you’re overwhelmed, run down or wrung out. Your energy is depleted, and you need rest, replenishment and recovery. Better yet, you need strategies to avoid reaching that low point, so you can go about life with clarity, intention, vigor and good cheer.
We can define this type of energy as the degree of strength and vitality available for complex mental activity. Popular culture provides two main metaphors for this intangible item. First is the banking image of deposits, balances and withdrawals: You’re either tapped out, in the red, overdrawn, or you’re flush and full of beans. Second is the comparison with a gas tank or a master battery: Are you full, topped off, or empty and drained? (Note that a bank account can be empty or drained, too.)
Energy is a key issue for introverts because our nervous systems tend to be more sensitive to stimulation than those of extroverts. Noise, crowds, conversational nonsense and social pressures can bear down on us until we can’t stand it any longer. We need to learn to recognize and respect our energy signals and plan ahead to keep our energy at optimal levels.
Observe your energy signals
When I used to lead workshops on developing an individualized creative process, participants described a broad range of signs that inspiration was coming upon them. For one person, the indicator was a tickle at the back of her neck, while for another it was a flood of mental images, and yet another person would hear a humming sound accompanying an idea.
Energy signals are just as various: a sudden ability to talk fluently or inability to say anything at all; wanting to jump like a kid or feeling as slow as a snail; flashes of meaningful inner pictures or a muddy gray fog inside. Observe and identify your unique signs of energy upsurges, equilibrium or weakening.
The website Calm includes the following as signs of mental exhaustion: anxiety, lack of concentration, irritation or anger, sleep disruptions, aches and pains, and unhealthy eating impulses. Blogger Ashley Janssen described her signals that she’s reached her limits this way: “I get a low-grade headache, one of my ears gets plugged, and my thinking feels sluggish. My clothes start to feel uncomfortable and everything seems really loud. If I really overdo it, I get a migraine (which no one wants).”
If you have a habit of letting “shoulds” override how you feel, this energy-management step may require determined practice or someone else’s assistance. When I mentored writers one on one, I discovered that many people noticed their personal signals but discounted them so automatically that it took effort, encouragement and reminders for them to pay attention.
Trust your energy signals
Once you identify your unique signals that you’re overloading or replenishing, trust their validity and aim to keep your energy level at least at halfway. Heed those signals even if you feel reluctant to do so because, for example, a voice in your head or out in the world tells you you’re being ridiculous.
Recently I faced a challenge carrying out this step. I had signed up for a month-long challenge that involved responding to a new writing idea provided every day by the organizers. Near the end of the month, I felt mentally exhausted. But I told myself that that didn’t make sense. I only had to write 100-400 words for each day’s prompt, and I’d been writing professionally for decades! I skipped a couple of days and felt much better, realizing that something about the challenge did deplete me, regardless of whether or not I thought it should.
For an introvert who is prone to energy shutdowns in extended social situations, this type of struggle might come up at, let’s say, a close friend’s wedding, where despite loads of fun catching up, all the festivities get to be too much. The introvert tries to reason himself out of the imperative to take a break. These are my best buddies, after all. Such reasoning doesn’t solve the problem. We need to respect our energy prompts, even the unwelcome and inconvenient ones.
Plan ahead for energy optimization
With a reasonably firm handle on what energizes and depletes you, the final step is to strategize so you have ways of staying away from situations or people that drain you and of recovering when needed. For introverts, a big part of this involves coming up with words that excuse you from your energy drains, and then summoning the nerve to back out of those circumstances. For instance: “Don’t take it personally if I fade out after a couple of hours at the wedding reception. Trust me, you don’t want me to stay after I turn into a cranky jerk.”
It may help if you cite some data on others who get depleted the way you do. Try humor as well. For example: “I know you can stay on Zoom all day without a problem, but I’m with the 23 percent of people who suffer from Zoom fatigue. I’ll need a month of bed rest if I don’t have at least a couple of hours at work every day not on Zoom.”
Your energy management plan might also include tactics like regular microbreaks throughout your day; winding down at night for sounder sleep; more exercise; rescheduling challenging mental tasks for your most energetic time slot; indulging in restorative music baths; begging off unnecessary meetings; and persuading allies to help you evade your worst energy zappers.