The Interruptibility of Introverts
Introverts are more likely than others to get interrupted in conversation or in meetings. Why? And what can we do about that?
Some years back, I heard long-time “Prairie Home Companion” host Garrison Keillor interviewed on the radio. In his deep, sonorous voice he slowly rolled through the points he wanted to make on the topic of the program. The male interviewer, chirping in a higher register and much more rapidly, tried to break in with a comment or question but could not. It gave me the impression of a bumblebee buzzing ineffectually around a hippopotamus.
Unfortunately, however, introverts without the bullheaded gravitas of Garrison Keillor are much more likely than non-introverts to get interrupted while we are speaking. Here are the reasons why – and some steps we can take to counteract this vulnerability
What Makes Introverts Interruptible
Many introverts speak slowly or with more pauses than others. According to Dr. Marti Olsen Laney, author of The Introvert Advantage, introverts take longer to process information because we pull our thoughts from memory instead of spilling out ideas spontaneously. In addition, we consciously prefer to take extra time to plan silently what to say. We adhere to the principle, “more filter, less filler.” But the more space we leave between our words, the easier it becomes for other speakers to interject or take over.
Furthermore, being more reserved and less socially attention-seeking, it may not come naturally to us to command attention with our voice and our manner of speaking or to act assertively when someone horns in on our conversational turn.
And whether or not they’re meant that way, we often experience spoken interruptions as disrespectful or condescending.
Note too that gender and power each also play a role in who gets interrupted. A widely publicized 2017 study by law professors at Emory and Northwestern universities showed, for example, that at the US Supreme Court, female justices were interrupted at disproportionate rates not only by their fellow justices who are male but also by male lawyers arguing before the Court. Tanya Jacobi and Dylan Schweers, the authors of the study, wrote:
“For example, in the 2015 term, Justice Elena Kagan was interrupted ten times or more each by Chief Justice John Roberts and by Justices Samuel Alito and Anthony Kennedy. Justice Sonia Sotomayor was interrupted 15 times by Kennedy, 14 times by Alito and 12 times by Roberts. Kennedy also interrupted Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg 11 times. Only two male justices suffered interruption by another justice at the double-digit level, despite there being twice as many men as women on the court. The most any woman interrupted any individual male justice during that term was seven times.”
Jacobi and Schweers added that this interruption differential set the stage for serious consequences. “When a justice is interrupted, her point is left unaddressed, and her ability to influence the outcome of a case or the framing of another justice’s reasoning is undermined.” The same dynamics occur when introverts get disproportionately interrupted. Our opinions, experiences and suggestions then either go unheard or have a lesser impact.
How to Hold Your Own Against Interruptions
Consider first various nonverbal methods of thwarting interrupters. Raise a hand, palm out, or lift your index finger in the air. These widely recognized gestures signal “Wait!” You might even touch the interrupter’s arm lightly or with a firm touch to emphasize that message.
You can also use words to persuade violators to stop. Try “May I please talk?” “Hang on” “I’m actually not finished” or “Please, it’s my turn to talk.”
Remember that you deserve to have a say, and convey that attitude in the way you gesture or respond to your interrupter. Even motormouths respond to a command like that of a traffic cop or the head surgeon in an operating room.
Consider also a change in mindset about interruptions. Sometimes what comes across to you as overstepping amounts simply to an enthusiastic style of quickly agreeing and encouraging you to continue. Interrupters’ behavior may also stem from their culture or family of origin. Where they come from, a chaos of cross-talk might be the norm. They may also have the well-intentioned aim of helping you along by inserting approving comments into the stream of talk. For this style of interrupter, understand their good intentions and just keep on speaking.
When there’s a high-stakes information exchange or a personally important update to impart, you can forestall interruptions by starting your turn with something like “Look, I need to tell you something, and please hold back your comments until I finish.” A slow-talking relative of mine did this when he needed to tell the family about a serious medical diagnosis. Everyone listened silently until he had communicated everything he wanted to say.
You might also educate others around you, explaining that introverts – or just vaguely “some people” – need more time to articulate their thoughts.
Finally, if you see another introvert being interrupted, you can help out by holding up a hand and intervening on their behalf with “I’d like to hear the rest of Patty’s idea.”
Related Posts
Do Words Speak Louder for Introverts?
1. We’re (too) polite.
2. We’re uncertain that what we were going to say was worthy of being let loose in the wild, so to speak.
3. I have mild cognitive impairment, which manifests itself as wordfinding. (My wife is gradually learning not to interrupt me mid-sentence).
4.
(My iPad just interrupted me)