As parents and teachers undoubtedly told you ad nauseum while growing up, patience is a virtue. But is the capacity for patience unequally distributed, with some people predisposed to be restless can’t-waits while others more easily settle in for the long haul? Research shows that indeed, personality correlates with the ability or willingness to hang on through a delay. Some of us – extroverts – are likely to be Jackrabbits and others – introverts – are more likely to be Snails.
Extroverts get energized by quick action, obvious momentum and rapid shifts in events. Motivated to resolve a situation as fast as possible, they follow first impulses, interrupt, call out orders to others, ignore warnings and choose short cuts. In a crisis, it’s the introverts who pause to analyze the circumstances, weigh pros and cons, and then think up a comprehensive strategy.
As I’ve explained in other posts, this contrast occurs because of differences in brain neurotransmitters and brain anatomy. Extroverts are biologically primed for novelty, excitement, rapid information processing and swift reactions. Introverts have opposite built-in biases, for reflection, calm, observation and waiting to act wisely.
Which preference has more success depends on the situation. Let’s say you’re in the first car to come upon an accident on a twisty, two-lane road. The Jackrabbit’s instinct to jump out of the car, call 911 immediately, try to help anyone who’s injured and delegate others to manage oncoming traffic is obviously excellent. But the Snail’s holdback and more deliberate responses facilitate the observation of details that will help authorities understand what happened there and why.
Imagine then that no one is seriously injured, yet because of the remoteness of the location, it will take an hour or more for a wrecker to arrive and clear the road. The Jackrabbit might find the prospect of waiting so aversive that they back out and seek any detour, even one that will take much longer to drive than waiting. (I have known people like that!) The Snail has a greater capacity to remain at the scene without getting antsy.
We can learn to be more patient, psychologists say. Mindfulness meditation helps over the long term. Slow, deep breathing helps in the here and now. Some people have philosophical mantras, such as “It is what it is,” that calm them down. Others look for some humor in a situation, which releases the tension of waiting.
Also helpful is a strategy called preemption – thinking of some good results that might come about as a result of a negative situation at hand. For instance, when stuck waiting for the truck to clear the road, you could tell yourself, “Oh good – now would be a good time to talk through that dilemma we need to solve.”
Patience is good for your health. Those capable of waiting for rewards tend to live longer and have fewer medical conditions, better metabolism, less unhappiness and healthier weight, compared to chronically impatient people. As a Jackrabbit, intense reactions to everyday challenges put stress on your nervous system and heart. You may also have a harder time sticking to healthy lifestyle practices like good sleep, a balanced diet and regular exercise. As a Snail, your body experiences less wear and tear from constantly being in fight-or-flight mode.
And by the way, if you want to read a book that upends negative stereotypes – indeed, any stereotypes – about snails, I recommend The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating by Elisabeth Tova Bailey. It recounts Bailey’s convalescence from a long illness with a small, subdued snail as her cherished bedside companion. Its pace of living perfectly matched hers during that season of her life.
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