Who Commands Attention? Any Personality Can
Do you need an imperious personality for people to do as you say or even to listen? Definitely not! Introverts, that includes you.
The other day I came across a video by movie director David Sandberg, whose films include Shazam! and Lights Out. Sandberg said he knew many film buffs who counted themselves out of a directing career because they felt they had the wrong personality. The directorial stereotype consists of someone with a large, commanding vibe, who takes charge, yells orders that get obeyed and is a master persuader with investors besides, he noted.
But people like Sandberg who don’t fit that mold can and do direct. Introverts shouldn’t give up their dream because of stereotypes, he urged. “Only you can tell a story with your voice and your style,” he concluded.
This issue applies far outside the field of film directing. Who commands attention? Who commands obedience? Who commands respect?
I agree with Sandberg that people’s first answer might be the loudmouth, someone like General George Patton, who used tough, foul language like a whip, who barked even to those he liked. (I’m going by the award-winning movie version, where he was played by George C. Scott.) But if anyone gave the questions more thought, they’d realize that another answer would be General Colin Powell, who had achieved an equal number of stars on his uniform but didn’t bluster or yell. His leadership relied on smarts rather than bullying. Those who knew him described him as humble, empathetic, strategic, courageous and insistent on details.
More generally, gregarious people with a “Hey! Look at me!” approach do get attention. But so do quieter people who really, really know what they’re doing in a situation where others recognize their competence.
Think of the coworker who sits in the corner during meetings, saying little or nothing until something comes up that speaks directly to his expertise. Then all heads turn to him, and whatever he advises normally gets implemented without quibbling. Or the prickly woman with high hedges who doesn’t attend neighborhood block parties but understands gardens from the inside out: Other residents maneuver to stay on her good side because if you ask her nicely, she offers golden advice on how to keep pests out of your flowers. Or the doctor who wordlessly takes charge at a roadside accident through bearing, body language and actions that demonstrate deep know-how.
In the right circumstances, any kind of personality can command attention, compliance and respect – introverts included.
In another post, I explained a similar flaw in the common advice that one needs to be theatrical, emotional and forceful when giving a speech on stage. In hard numbers, the high-octane style isn’t actually the most popular with audiences or paying customers. So if you have a soft voice but huge ideas, a reserved style but grand ambitions, don’t let personality pigeonholes hold you back. Introverts, are you listening?
Related posts
Alfred Hitchcock, Introverted Director
Nelson Mandela, Introverted Leader
Fred Astaire, Introverted Dancer, Actor and Director
Four Types of Introverted Charisma
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